It gets so ridiculous. To the point where people don't even know who they really are.
So, I heard a friend giving advice to another friend. "Just be yourself."
And I thought to myself.."Hey! My motto!"
But then I thought.."Really? Is it anymore?"
A point where I've grown just so sick and tired of trying to live up to everyone's expectations. A point where I can't even be sure of who I ACTUALLY am.
I come to situations, where I know what I want to do. I also know, that maybe, some might call what I want to do morally grey. So what do I do?
If I do what I want, does that make me a bad person? If I do what everyone would expect me to do, am I not being who I am? It's so confusing!
I keep thinking, and I realise. So much I've changed about myself. The most critical thing being, that whenever I say or do a thing now, I THINK. And that's SO not what I used to be.
Being impulsive. Being carefree. Being true to who I am, that was what I always prided myself on. And now..well. *sigh*
So what should I do. Go along with the doctrine of right and wrong, which the society dictates? Or go along with my own personal doctrine I've followed for a long time? The doctrine of "I don't give a fuck. If you don't like me, get outta my face." Cause I can tell you one thing, my own personal one..lots more fun than the other.
So basically, I'm sitting here, thinking of all kinds of stuff, but not being able to decide.
I suppose the best decision is, to not decide. That's what I stood for, anyway. No tension, no worries. Just do what comes to you. Just go with the flow. Like I have been, for some time now.
It doesn't numb me in anyway. But yes, it does make me go through, feeling a hell lot better than I would otherwise.
It helps me take control, be more aware of what I really need. Makes me understand the importance of other, maybe smaller things in life. Smaller things like, well, my career, and my whole life. Cause that's what it's supposed to be.
Oh yeah, the last part wouldn't make much sense to anyone else. (I suggest put an English critic to work here. They'll probably take out the words, spread them on a platter, slice them up real nice, and make about a hundred proposals as to what it would mean, none of which would be right. But then again, that is their job now.)
So I'll sign off now, cause I've got 2 lab tests and a quiz tomorrow. And I THINK I have to study. Well, let's hope for the best. And that includes me being able to make a final decision. Let's see.
Bye-bye. See ya'll later! (Or maybe never. Who knows, I'm too moody. :P)
So, I heard a friend giving advice to another friend. "Just be yourself."
And I thought to myself.."Hey! My motto!"
But then I thought.."Really? Is it anymore?"
A point where I've grown just so sick and tired of trying to live up to everyone's expectations. A point where I can't even be sure of who I ACTUALLY am.
I come to situations, where I know what I want to do. I also know, that maybe, some might call what I want to do morally grey. So what do I do?
If I do what I want, does that make me a bad person? If I do what everyone would expect me to do, am I not being who I am? It's so confusing!
I keep thinking, and I realise. So much I've changed about myself. The most critical thing being, that whenever I say or do a thing now, I THINK. And that's SO not what I used to be.
Being impulsive. Being carefree. Being true to who I am, that was what I always prided myself on. And now..well. *sigh*
So what should I do. Go along with the doctrine of right and wrong, which the society dictates? Or go along with my own personal doctrine I've followed for a long time? The doctrine of "I don't give a fuck. If you don't like me, get outta my face." Cause I can tell you one thing, my own personal one..lots more fun than the other.
So basically, I'm sitting here, thinking of all kinds of stuff, but not being able to decide.
I suppose the best decision is, to not decide. That's what I stood for, anyway. No tension, no worries. Just do what comes to you. Just go with the flow. Like I have been, for some time now.
It doesn't numb me in anyway. But yes, it does make me go through, feeling a hell lot better than I would otherwise.
It helps me take control, be more aware of what I really need. Makes me understand the importance of other, maybe smaller things in life. Smaller things like, well, my career, and my whole life. Cause that's what it's supposed to be.
Oh yeah, the last part wouldn't make much sense to anyone else. (I suggest put an English critic to work here. They'll probably take out the words, spread them on a platter, slice them up real nice, and make about a hundred proposals as to what it would mean, none of which would be right. But then again, that is their job now.)
So I'll sign off now, cause I've got 2 lab tests and a quiz tomorrow. And I THINK I have to study. Well, let's hope for the best. And that includes me being able to make a final decision. Let's see.
Bye-bye. See ya'll later! (Or maybe never. Who knows, I'm too moody. :P)
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